Office coffee as class war

Office Snob has a private grinder in a shared kitchen and a TED-talk about why the pod machine is a human rights issue. They still attend the birthday cake. Correct, unfortunately.

Shared kitchens are class maps. Capsules are convenience with a plastic aftertaste. The Snob’s gooseneck is a status object that also happens to brew. The Goblin’s portafilter is a weapon used like a toaster, on purpose, because mornings do not bloom.

Laminated notes are how middle management becomes hydrology. Grind size, mug ownership, do-not-use-the-nice-cups-for-instant. The note will not save anyone. The ristretto happens anyway. Steam everywhere.

Peace looks like a sink treaty: two religions, one drain. Bring your own beans if you must. Do not throw away someone else’s kettle. Do not call a flat white a cappuccino unless you want Foam Fennec involved, which you do not.